Won't you tell me?

I think I've found you. Won't you tell me how to save you?

It's not real

I think I have a problem. When there is no music, it's like the world isn't really here and I don't really exist.

scared.

SCARED!

Crazy

I am going crazy.

I'm doing a really bad thing, aren't I? It's been a long time, but I've not gotten over the trauma. If it happens again, it would be too dramatic. too much!!

Guess it wont, but I'm too afraid.

Then there's this really expensive trip. Should I go? Should I not? Should I take it? Should I not? Should I???????? God, if it's from you, give me a solid, confirming answer. Please??? One so solid, I can't say NO.

I didn't earn it. but that's what grace is. But the story of Cain and Abel. wait... =_= wait, what? how about that story of not giving God what you have not earned? It's like giving God free stuff!

I am going crazy.

I'm already crazy, aren't I?

Nevermind.

Tell me.

Tell me why I was born.

Where are you?

Hi Boy,

Where are you? This land is too vast for one like me. The morning's a desert place - there is no water, no food, nothing grows here. At night, the neon lights turn on, invisible streets appear and the shadowmen awaken. Could you be among those that walk in shadows?

I could hear your voice. Yet, no matter how I search, you are no where to be found.

I made a promise that if you ever call on me, I would travel the world and run to the furthest corners of this earth to bring you back. But are you at a place I have no entry to? Are you at a place where I cannot go?

There is no address I could send this letter to, so I'll rely on the wind and pray it will bring it to you.

Won't you tell me where you are?


Most Sincerely,
Sheryn

How about now?

Well, I can only post really depressing thoughts here. I have to think twice about the other places. =_=

Some time ago, I asked this: Can I die now, please?

But it wasn't time yet.

How about now? I'm kinda tired of living already. But dying now would mean regrets. A lot of it.

After 23 years, and I still feel like an alien on earth.

I'm sorry I didn't see you. I'll try keeping a look out from now on.

What else am I depressed about?

You can stop pretending, you know. I can tell.

How can someone live so many years and not grow up?

I can't believe you don't know why I cried. You are my parent.

I want a God whom I can see and touch.

I think dreams are better than reality.

I've fallen in love with someone who probably does not exist.

I still hate growing up.

I hate paperwork, unless if it's arts and craft.

Sometimes, I smile simply because no one would talk to a sulking face.

Sometimes, I pretend like my spirits are up when they are actually down, so people wouldn't have to feel burdened that they have to worry or comfort me.

Even when I'm really tired, I have to pretend like I'm not because they hate looking at tired faces.

Who are you really? You can't be as shallow as you appear to be. Can you? Won't you reveal yourself?

Do you really need to pretend to be someone you're not just to impress?

I think I feel just almost a little bit better now. ^^

Suddenly, I feel sad again.

My shoulder aches so badly, but I can't tell anyone.

I'm writing so many things here, but I can't tell anyone.

And I'm still really afraid. I'd trust anyone if they told me they were telling the truth.

My biggest fear is to be lost and all alone (right next to insects) which I constantly am.

Strange Story

Once upon a time, there was a young boy who lived with his parents in an ordinary house. Now, in their backyard was a huge apple tree. Being young and small as the boy was, the very thought of plucking an apple from the tree seemed glorious.

So, he asked his parents if he could climb the tree to get an apple. "Yes, you may," the father said, "only after you have dug 6 feet below the apple tree, then you may start climbing." He hands a small shovel to the boy.

The naive boy obliged. He spent months digging the ground, breaking a hand and leg in the process. When he had completed, he found himself trapped 6 feet under in a space of what looked like a coffin hole. It was a miracle if he could climb out of the hole at all, let alone climb tree!

Now things are running through his mind. He was getting good at this whole digging thing and only got swifter by the day. Perhaps he should just break the roots of the tree, destroy it so he can get his apple? After that, he can proceed to break the foundations of the house to get back at his father? To be continued.

I want to die.

I finally said it.

I want to die.

Alien trapped on earth

I'm an alien trapped on earth
The color of my skin not of earth
The world saw me but didn't notice
They made me dress just like everyone else

They pushed me to a corner
And demand that I conform
They'll paint my red skin grey
If it's the last thing they'll do

With each step they take forward
I'll take one step backward
I do not wish to see a tragic end
Yet, there's no end to this

Soon, I'll reach the walls
A border they thought had no escape
When that day comes
That wall and all else will exist no longer

For I will detonate it
With a weapon I've brought
From a world far away
But that's the last thing I'd do

Now, with each step they take forward
I'll take one step backward
I do not wish to see a tragic end
There's no end to this

Ripped Out

Ripping out was a good idea.

Something inside me died, but it was a part I wanted dead anyway.

Now I need healing.

No, I don't regret cutting it off.

It was painful, but its better than having it suck my blood.

Dear God

Dear God,

A little help, please?


Sincerely
Lost Child

Calling Emergency.

Because this is really tiring. A little help here, please!

It has been ripped out.

What I had to do was no different than suicide. Ripping what was a part of me out. But what has been done can no longer be undone.

Straight out.

Well.. no one reads blogspots anymore I guess a little straightforward negativity is alright here?

I am feeling so sad right now. =(